Consent ↗
Understanding consent is one of the most important parts of allowing anyone to safely practice kink. Honestly, everyone should have a kink-level understanding of how consent can and should work.
CURIOUS
ABOUT
KINK?
a lot to learn
WHERE TO EVEN START?
Welcome to your journey of self discovery.
Kink can be a very fulfilling addition to your life and allow you to explore both yourself and deeply connect with others as you combine your kinky journeys. Kink is a wide field and encompasses a broad range of ideas, ideals, sexual orientations, likes, dislikes, needs, wants and perspectives.
Kinkcurve is made to be a resource to safely guide and educate both new and experienced with kink and BDSM. There is a lot to learn, so get comfortable (or not, if you prefer) and get ready to read. Yes, read. Read all of this.
Disclaimer: Before you continue viewing this website or read more about the topics I discuss, you should know that I will be writing about topics that may be upsetting to some readers. I will put trigger warnings (tw for short) looking like this box wherever I feel they are required, and you may always send me a message at tw@kinkcurve.com if you feel I missed something.
Bearing this in mind, I ask you to consider well if you wish to consent to engaging with what I write here or on connected platforms. Not everything will be for you, and you should withdraw your consent by disengaging from those parts that you find problematic or unappealing.
Still with me? Wonderful! Let’s dive right into the topic of Consent.
CONSENT ↓ ALL TOPICS ↓
no means no
CONSENT
We all have an inherent understanding of the word "consent" and often agree to or consent to rules given to us in contracts, events or other engagements. But what about consent more specifically in the realm of kink? To understand consent, it is important to identify how consent even works and being aware of the many pitfalls surrounding consent. Here are the basic requirements for consent in kink I have pieced together through my life:
Consent...
- ... must be discussed and transparent.
- ... must be free, clear, enthusiastic & conscious.
- ... must be revocable at any point.
- ... must be actively reaffirmed regularly.
- ... may not be transferred, relayed or assumed.
- ... must be possible within legal boundaries.
- ... violations must be thoroughly reflected, addressed & have consequences.
Let's look at each of these points a bit more closely, or you can skip down to continue with trust & safety.
CONSENT ↗ TRUST & SAFETY ↓
strong foundations
TRUST & SAFETY
To safely engage in kink, trust must be deep, well established and go hand in hand with safety tools and a conscious, transparent discussion of these topics. Trust in kink should go deeper than it has to with non-kink relationships, because many kinky activities are quite dangerous to the health and wellbeing of the participants. Some interactions cannot be practiced entirely safely and always carry an inherent risk that is far larger than is the case with "vanilla" (meaning non-kinky) interactions or sexual conduct.
I have found the following points to be of great importance when it comes to building trust and to safely practice kink:
- Upfront, transparent and ongoing communication.
- Safety tools must cover physical, mental and emotional considerations and be observed at all times.
- Trust is both given and earned.
- Trust and safety considerations must cover everyone involved.
- Have a plan for what happens when something does go wrong.
- Safety measures can and should be practiced.
- A breach of trust or a safety violation must be honestly reviewed and have consequences.
Let's take a closer look at all of these points, or read further on about how to explore your kinks.
TRUST & SAFETY ↗ EXPLORING KINKS ↓
an exciting journey
EXPLORING YOUR KINKS
One of the most exciting things about being kinky is to no one's great surprise: getting to explore and actually practice all the kinks you have fantasized about. It varies when those kinks first surfaced, and you should not feel bad if you have had certain kinks and kinky ideas since you were young. Kink is often a natural part of sexual development and can often be perfectly natural inclinations you simply have in you just as much as your sexual orientation is part of you. In some cases, your kinks might be related to bad or even traumatic experiences. If that is the case, please ensure you seek professional help and support to properly process it all and eventually heal. No matter where your kinks come from or what they might be, I want to talk about some points I find important in regard to exploring them.
- You matter & your kinks do not define you as a person.
- Explore (by) yourself first.
- Porn & Social Media (no matter the medium) are not depicting reality.
- Inexperienced partners are not always bad, experienced partners are not always good.
- Some kinks are never fully safe (understanding RACK).
- Choking and Breath Play
- Impact Play (kicking, slapping, punching, whipping etc.)
- Elemental Play (electricity, fire, ice, etc.)
- Blood Play (biting, scratching, cutting, etc.)
- Substance Play (alcohol, drugs, etc.)
- Take it slow.
- Sub-Frenzy is real and you need to understand it (even or especially if you are a dominant).
- Sub-/Dom-Drop are real and you should know about them.
- You might encounter abusive, predatory and vile people on your journey.
- Handling rejections
Let's go have a look.
EXPLORING KINKS ↗ STORIES ↓Topics
Here is an overview of all kink related topics currently covered on kinkcurve. The goal is to provide perspectives and help educate newcomers by pointing out potential pitfalls and giving guidelines on how to navigate it all.
Note: while I aim to be thorough and have what I write reviewed by other experienced kinksters, there is always room for error. Always engage with what you read from strangers through a critical lens.
Trust & Safety ↗
How does one build trust and find out if a potential partner is actually safe to engage with? Understanding how to stay safe and what trust requires are important parts of the kink journey.
Exploring ↗
With the basics in Consent and Trust & Safety covered, exploring kinks can be a lot of fun, but even here there are things to watch out for and understand.
theatre of mind
Stories
In my free time and to support this website and my plans of I like to put pen to paper and write stories. I have found that I enjoy writing stories with a heavy sexual and kink component far more than just vanilla stories. This is the current body of my work. The first bit of each story can be read for free on this website. Anything further will be made available via Patreon (or similar).
All of these stories are a work in progress and cover a variety of kinks and topics.
The Arkenshards
The young noble woman Livia Prosarius is taken captive by enemy forces to prevent an alliance. Her captor Darius has great plans and betrays all in his path, taking her on a long and harrowing journey.
Topics: non consent, fictional death & violence, graphic descriptions of (kinky) sexual acts
GET A TASTE ↗
Expedition Space
Droo Clearway has almost made it. Just one more delivery and his new ship is truly his to explore Frontier Space. He does not realize his cargo will change his entire life.
Topics: non consent, fictional death & violence, graphic descriptions of (kinky) sexual acts
GET A TASTE ↗
About
I am O., the creator of KinkCurve with over 20 years experience in kink. I am a European cis/het sadistic dominant who lives a poly lifestyle with multiple partners of varying degrees of intensity. When I started out, there was not a lot of information widely available and my first forays into kink were marred with personal failures and setbacks. It is a life long journey to understand my own kinks, those of my partners and indeed, kink as a whole. There is always room for growth and improvement.
This website and related content are aimed at sharing a lot of the lessons I had to learn the hard way to help others reflect on their own journey. Please note that there are many resources like this one and I encourage you to get plenty of perspective on kink and your own journey within it. I do not claim to hold the truth or all wisdom when it comes to kink. My perspective is a very narrow one and you might not be able to relate to a lot of what my experiences have brought me to believe and think over the years.
Even with 20 years practicing kink, I still learn and discover new things all the time. Wanting to improve and being open to new ideas on how to practice your kinks safely and consensually is always a good endeavour. So, I welcome you to share in what I think I know and to broaden our horizons together.
Got questions? Get in touch!
📨 contact@kinkcurve.com Patreon ↗ Bluesky ↗